I’m never sure of myself; I over think every single thing I do and say. Every one of my actions is carefully planned out. This might seem bad, but in junior high I was even worse. Not only was I paranoid and self-conscious, but I was also extremely shy and unhappy with my life. I wore plain clothes and never spoke out; I didn’t want anyone to notice me any more than they had to. I was constantly bullied and said nothing to defend myself.
I had some friends, but not that many. Making new friends was pretty much impossible, considering how little I talked. For that matter, very few of my friends were more outgoing than I was. Because of this, when my peers made fun of me, no one would tell them to stop. I couldn’t bring myself to say something, and they were just too scared. That didn’t make them bad friends, they were just shy.
However, I did have one friend who was more outgoing than I ever thought I could be. One day when we were in seventh grade, she saw how some boys were talking about me – commenting on my unflattering and plain clothing and saying I was fat – and got extremely mad. No one had ever really stuck up for me before. She yelled at them to stop, even though I’d asked her not to because I was afraid they’d just make fun of me even more.
After she’d said what she needed to, she walked with me to the bathroom to talk to me. She was actually mad at me for not telling her about this sooner, and for not doing something about it by myself. I told her that I couldn’t stand up to them like she had; I honestly felt like I wasn’t capable of it. I had put so much effort into being invisible that I felt like I was completely powerless to everyone else. My friend told me that I needed to stop thinking so hard and just do what I needed to – tell all the bullies to leave me alone.
For a long time, I couldn’t bring myself to stand up to speak out. But once I really thought about what she’d said, I realized she was right. I was never going to accomplish anything in my life if I continued to be silent. The very next time a bully said something to me, I told them to stop and walked away. He was completely surprised and hasn’t said a thing to me since.
My friend’s advice has radically changed my life; I’m a totally different person now. Because she believed in me, I’m now able wear the clothes I like, make new friends, and do things that make me stand out. I’m no longer scared of what other people will say to me.